A couple of weeks ago, my friend Shawna emailed me a joke that you’ve probably all seen by now. The little boy who thought a zoo directory advertised “a frickin’ elephant” (African elephant). Hee hee.

But it ain’t so cute when they STILL spell like that after graduating from high school and college.

I’m sure many of you are tired even of being exasperated by the bizarre grammatical practices and spelling habits prevalent in the blogosphere. Instead of losing your temper at a person who hates “too sea people loose their temper because when you do, it definately effects you’re friendships negitively,” you now just let yourself quietly die a little (or dye a littel) inside.

And you’re resigned to dying of a thousand of these little cuts online.

A place where you still don’t usually expect it, though, is in an official announcement from a company doing business with you. You expect a different kind of language abuse. You expect legalese. You expect convoluted sentence structure. You expect to fight long and hard to find the verb. You expect things like “factors impacting quarterly earnings” and “losses incurred due to external market conditions” (by now, even my sixth grade English teacher has probably become inured to this use of “due to”).

But you don’t expect them to say “August is a quite month.”

I really thought they were promising August would be “quite a month” — but no. After rereading it three times, I had to reach the conclusion that this company was telling me that August is typically considered a “quiet” month in the business cycle.

Cut number 722. . .